Ok, so when I left my ex I lost around 70 pounds and gained a sense of self worth and love for myself. I learned that with hard work anything is possible! I then died my hair blond and was able to look in the mirror and see a beautiful, thin woman. My confidence was soaring and I was unstoppable. However, some days I still see that sad 250/260 pound girl looking back at me and its terrifying and depressing. This isn't about my self image or the mask that I put over myself at times. I really do see the girl in the mirror and it is real and sad. This happens usually when something changes, or when I step on the scale and the needle passes what I feel is too high for comfort.
I quit smoking. Again, cold turkey. This time I became physically sick almost like you would expect from a recovering heroin addict.. I was nauseous, I had vertigo, my skin crawled and it all came in waves that would stop me in my tracks. This happened for about a week and then my body made one last attempt to sway my willpower in to having a cigarette. It was like my brain was desperate for a fix and showed me that fat girl in the mirror. "Big Tummy, thighs that rub together, armpit rolls, double chin, hair pulled back no makeup, bad skin. Man this girl really let herself go... gross" When this happened I was brushing my teeth with my boyfriend and getting ready for bed, I looked up into the mirror for about 3 seconds and had to back out of the bathroom so I wouldn't see her in the mirror. Of course it was odd behavior and he asked me what was wrong. Shaking my head dismissing what I had just done and keeping myself quiet with my toothbrush and toothpaste. I haven't felt this pain since Mike. When I get to these points in my life I loathe him even more for helping me get to the size and proportion that I was. For being married to him and also being a single mother while we lived together. This hatred that I feel for him goes beyond the words here, beyond the casual mask that I wear for my daughter when she talks about him. Even beyond what I express to other people. I feel that he ruined me and the healing process will never end. So I feel that the only way to escape him and my past is to be thin.
Ok so thin to me is very different than thin to other people. Thin to me is about 170, when I get to 180 is when fat girl comes back and I dwell on everything that I put into my mouth. Because Iv quit smoking I am putting everything into my mouth, everything sounds good, everything tastes better than it did before and i crave things now. Well just things, but everything, I crave everything. Its easier to shut up the craving than to just not eat it.
SOOO here is t my the reason my for blog!! Im going to try adding Capsaisin into my diet.
Capsaisin is the active component of chili peppers, which are plants belonging to the genus Capsicum. It is an irritant for mammals, including humans, and produces a sensation of burning in any tissue with which it comes into contact. Capsaicin and several related compounds are called capsaicinoids and are produced as a secondary metabolite by chili peppers, probably as deterrents against certain herbivores and fungi.[1] Pure capsaicin is a hydrophobic, colorless, odorless, crystalline to waxy compound.
I read an article that explained what capsaisin does to your fat cells.
Here is the article that I read about Capsaisin and what it does for your body!
“ After you eat a meal, your body decides whether to (a) burn off the calories as heat, or (b) store the calories as fat,” explains Nicholas Perricone, M.D.
“Capsaicin is a powerful anti-inflammatory and anticarcinogenic, and an outstanding antioxidant. Capsaicin also stabilizes blood sugar for 30 minutes after a meal, thwarting insulin’s tendency to direct the body to pack on more fat.”
(But wait...there's more!) “Groundbreaking new research suggests that not only can capsaicin direct your body to burn off calories, it can actually change your existing fat into a form that can easily self-destruct, called ‘brown fat.’ (I'm lovin' the idea of that!)
Scientists have recently proven that capsaicin not only tells the brown fat you already have to effectively blow itself up and release its energy as heat (thermogenesis), it also changes your white fat (the stuff that’s packed onto your trouble spots) into something that more closely resembles brown fat (which has little energy engines called mitochondria that can blow it up from the inside out.). In the presence of capsaicin, white fat in studies took on the characteristics of brown fat, becoming a metabolically active substance that could burn itself up.”
How much capsaicin do you need to be effective? Your body weight x 68 = number of micrograms you need for optimal fat loss.
150 x 68 = 10,200 mcg capsaicin daily
160 x 68 = 10,880 mcg
170 x 68 = 11,560 mcg
180 x 68 = 12,240 mcg
190 x 68 = 12,920 mcg
200 x 68 = 13,600 mcg
So what foods can give you the amount that you need daily? Here are some of the peppers that might give you some insight on the more common peppers and the strength of each one and how one can incorporate it into our diets.
Red Savina Habanero
(350,000 - 577,000)
Chocolate Habanero
(200,000 - 385,000)
Orange habanero
& Scotch Bonnet
(150,000 - 325,000)
Tabasco, Jaloro,
Aji & Cayenne
(30,000 - 50,000)
Serrano
(8,000 - 22,000)
Hot Wax & Puya
(5,000 - 10,000)
Chipotle
(5,000 - 8,000)
Jalapeno
(2,500 - 8,000)
Anaheim & Sandia
(500 - 2,500)
Poblano, Espanola, Ancho, Mulato & Pasilla
(1,000 - 2,000)
Pepperoncini
& Cherry
(100 - 500)
Sweet Bell
& Pimento
(0)
I will be posting more about what recipes Ill be using and methods that I try as well as side effects that i experience. Ill also make an appearance weekly to update everyone on any weight loss changes that I have!
Happy Burning!
Chelsea
